Holmes major do not hav this problem no GURL would go anywhere near him he hav a face even more repelant than his bro also he is v fat. Oddly enuff holmes major CORRESPOND with a girl called ada they are working on a thinking machine tho i do not kno why he nede such a thing he think quite enuff as it is. In return for stockmarket tips gen on goverment afairs and foren coins he give the new ticks redy done prep with random bishes so master do not suspekt. He cannot lose becos masters pa him to mark the prep. Tho holmes major take his fee in extra tew. He also do the headmasters books for the whelk stall advise on skool investments and coach the chess team. Perhaps he sit all da in prefekts study becos his BRANE is so heavy he cannot move.
As for me watson minor the terror of 3B i of corse also diskard GURLS but my mater hav different ideas. She like her tiny boys to learn the gentle arts chiz chiz and invite GURLS for weedy dance during half term hol. Holmes minor sa he must go to budapest to study numismatic reliques and regret ect chiz. Green come to the dance he is a wet and a weed he sa "hello watson minor wot a luvly ocasion i do so luv to mingle with the fair sex o look there is lade frances carfax xcuse me" and he skip off.
At this point i am minded to tuough up trevor who hav brought his appalling sister MAVIS but mater touch my stinging ear (peotry). "Yore father sa he must work late at the offis yore bro Henry have drunk all the punch and passed out you must entertain your guests." I riposte litely that I was just proposing to entertain trevor with a blow to the proboskis. Mater look meningfully at firelock over ancestral hearth and sa "You kno what hapen to englishmen captured in egypt it will hapen to you if you do not behave like a litle gentleman got that oaf?" She frogmarch me toward mavis trevor.
"O john" sa mavis "i am so sad yore friend sherlock is not here. He is such
a grate intellektual he luv all that is fare in nature i admire him so
much."
"Do not nurse vane hopes fare lade," i repli. "Holmes minor do not luv
GURLS he luv only knoledge especially chemy poo gosh." I do not mention the
pikture of IRENE ADLER stuck inside his desk we all have our wekenesses hem
hem.
"No you are rong," sa mavis. "He hav walked with me in the fare english
countryside he hav such refined peotic sensibilities ect ect". She go on
unaware that I watson minor kno the true story eg
Holmes minor hav created a massive xplosion in chemy lab that destroy all test tubes retorts pipettes bunsen burners and also ponk. He consider it better to leve the scene before anyone notice. He go and look at iron age earthworks where he can hole up if CRIME is detected before he establish alibi. There mavis trevor come upon him unxpectedly hem hem she hav been watching the skool gate all morning. "Curses", he think, "A witness. But aha I will get her to serve as my alibi." This mene he must engage her in conversation instead of running awa.
He secretely set his watch to five minits before time of xplosion and pretend to be finding true north by sun so he can sho the watch to mavis who do not hav one. He then walk with her down hill awa from skool so she will not see a clokc to soon and gues what he hav done. Mavis rattle on "Is not the countryside luvly in april do it not stir the sole to romance?". "I hav no romance in my sole," sa holmes minor. "I luv only science and TRUTH". "But is not truth beuaty and beuaty truth?" sa mavis.
Holmes minor can take no more. "o look" he sa "there is a lesser spotted frogwort let us persue it." "o sherlock you are so sensitive to nature" sa mavis but befor she can finish sentence holmes minor sprint across feld and over hedge out of site. Unfortunately wot is on other side of hedge is not v savory hem hem and he must remane submerged until mavis give up and go awa.
When holmes return to skool he do not look the suauve well groomed boy he normally is. He is coted with i kno not wot. I see him trying to sneke in by kitchen and tell him holmes major hav identified xplosion as rare case of spontanious combustion without leving prefekts study so he need not fere. At this point headmaster see him. He sa "Holmes minor you appere to be suffering from a strange dematological xcrescence. Watson minor will eskort you to the matronne."
Holmes do not mind going to matronne becos she hav drugs chemicals ect. As boys enter mato is shooting up with cokane from medical chest. "Do not be ashamed matronne" sa holmes. "One da cokane will be avalable frely in a swete drink and everybode will be happy." Matronne look at him thortfully she wonder what he hav been doing.
So in the end holmes minor was found not to have a horible skin disease and got off with a ticking off for being out of bounds. Mavis trevor do not get the message even when her bro tell her what holmes minor do in his spare time even tho these are not NORMAL things for a boy. O well my dere it only goes to prove that GURLS are unreliable. QED.